Things that I have been thinking about

I have been thinking alot about kids and my life would be like if I had them in my life. The older I get the more I want to be a mom. I love children so much.. But if  I want children I need a good man in my life, who will be there for the child.  But I also want to adopt someday, I have always wanted too. So mny children need loving homes. But first before I have kids I need a boyfriend and then a husband. I want a man who is Catholic, so we can raise in the faith I was.

All in HIS time

When I first returned from my trip from Haiti, I didn't feel like I was being called to become a sister. I think going o Haiti I expected to know if I was called. But I took in alot in the 5 days I was there and processed it all Alot of it when I got home. I loved every part of Haiti and didn't want to leave it was bittersweet. When I got home I was a bit confused and was asking myself am I called to become a sister or just a missionary. I did alot of praying and talking to God asking him where I was being called.

Now after much time of praying and asking God where he wants me. All this time I was still so in love with Maryknoll. Even though I wasn't sure if I was called to Maryknoll, I was feeling that I was being called to Maryknoll, but didn't know how I would go about asking to take the next step. Well a week after trying to figure this out I got a email from Sr. Janet if I'm ready to discern with them. I didn't even have to think about it. I said YES. Well Sr. Janet was going to be in Chicago, well I couldn't make it to Chicago so she came to Milwaukee. We were able to have lunch and to talk, she asked when I see myself entering I said August if my bills get paid in time.

Where am I called

After I returned from Haiti, I wasn't sure If God was calling me to become a Sister or a Missionary. I needed time to let everything process. After a week being home I'm almost positive I'm called to be a missionary sister. Well I met with my SD 2 days after I had been home after I wasn't sure at all where God wanted me, she said to make a list of the Pro's and Con's of both.


NUN 

Pro's
Community
life-time vows
being called sister
learning a new language
helping people
meeting new people
learning about different cultures
living a simple life

Con's
Away from family & friends
dealing with possible disease

Missionary

Pro's
helping people
learning a new language
learning new cultures

Con's
being away from home

  

Haiti: Where I left part of my Heart

Aug. 9th 2012

   Today I left for Haiti, a place I wanted to go for years. The night before I left went to bed at 9am because i was gonna get up at 4am, so I could shower, eat breakfast and make sure I had everything. Dad drove me to the airport and mom came with and Sara got up to say goodbye. When I arrived at the airport Ralph was already there and then the others started to come.We had three different flights that we needed to take.
    We finally arrived in Haiti and it was kinda crazy to say the least. We went through customs, which wasn't too bad except a lady skipped in front of a bunch of us. Then we had to get our luggage which was fun because there was so many people. The most crazy part was leaving after you had your luggage. There is tons of men wanting to help with your luggage and they want to help you so much. When we got to our van the luggage went in and then we all squeezed in. My first drive in Haiti is nothing like you will experience in the states. They drive fast and alot of honking horns. You really have to hold on when in a car. I noticed alot my first drive in Haiti you seeing people trying to see stuff and lots of people walking. For those people walking they have to move out of the way when a car is coming. On a drive to the mission house, we had stopped for a minute and this little boy had jumped on the back of the van asking for money. The we started to drive again and it wasn't slow either it was fast. I would saw that he scared all of us and then all of a sudden he jumped off in middle of traffic. I was scared for his life, thank God the car behind us could stop. When we got to the mission house we took everything upstairs and choose our beds. We later went downstairs and met all the staff. At the mission they had a porch with a beautiful view and some beautiful flowers. At dinner I didn't feel to hungry, but i guess i was because i ate the very good eggplant casserole.

Aug 10th 2012

Today is our first full day in Haiti and its pretty exciting. But it was also a very diffacult day and parts we very overwhelming. First we went to a clinic and was given a tour. They treat women at the clinic, after that we went for a walk. It wasn't any normal walk the we took, we took a walk in the poorest neighborhood. We walked down this big hill and it was a dirt road and very rocky. Which wasn't alot of work down, but up it was alot more work. But in all in all it wasn't that bad i walked it one day. The people of Haiti walk it everyday many times a day. We then walked down a hill to see the way the poorest people live. It was very hard to see, they live in houses that are so small and that have doors. It was heart- breaking to see but farther down you could see children having fun playing and laughing.

  Then we went on to visit Madam Sum Sum this lady is amazing and I feel in love with her. She feeds the kids in her neighborhood for many of these kids this will be the only meal they will get. These kids were so sweet before they ate and were waiting for the food to be made, they sang to us. Then we sang to them, we weren't as good though. I can't even describe into words how beautiful the singing is. When the food was ready we were able to help hand it out. I loved that part of it almost like we were helping just alittle bit. The children are the fces i will never forget. Considering these kids live in poverity you would never have guessed it. The kids are pretty happy they were laughing alot, which just made me so happy. We then said goodbye to the children and then kissed Madam Sum Sum goodbye.

 

 

Madam Sum Sum Children

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  We then headed back to the mission house. When we got back to the mission house, we had a speaker and her name was Mary. She talked about how they help people and how they can get loans. Also alot of people is Haiti don't know how to read or write. After she left we went to sit on the porch. It was so BEAUTIFUL out and there was a nice breeze.

Aug 11th 2012

Today was shopping day :) we went to this Co- Op, most of us did shopping for family, friends and sponsors. This place has some of those most beautiful things. We then visited a metal shop the things there were so nice. I didn't buy anything from there.

We did some driving and saw some sad things, that I can't even imagine and is hard to put into words. I saw people living in tents, it broke my heart t see people living like that. We also saw a Cathedeal and a Palace that were totally destroyed from the earthquake.

Aug 12, 2012

I was pretty excited when I found we were going to experience going to mass in Haiti. We had to get up early and by early I mean 4:30am, because mass started early. When we got into church, my first impression was how beautiful. They prayed the rosary before mass, which sounded so beautiful. When mass started the choir came in singing so beautiful. Its hard to describe into words, but its almost like what you would hear in  heaven. Then later on during mass 4 little girls started to dance. Its was so beautiful and I began to cry. The choir sang so beautiful that I wanted to take them home with me.

Later that night we went out for dinner, they  had a beautiful shandalar that had silverware hanging from it. We were treated to a nice treat, while in the restaurant a man was playing the saxaphone and he came to each table.

Aug 13th 2012

Just like every morning we got up early and ate breakfast. We had some free time before we had to leave, so we all went on the porch it was the coolest part of the house. Then it was time to go and I was very excited, I love children. They are the most honest and the most loving. I love children they are such gifts from God. We first visited Paula's girls, hen we first got there we sat down and they talked about the girls. We then got to see where these precious girls slept. I feel in love with these little girls. Becky had a girl grab her by the had and they sat togather, the girls started becky started to cry. The little started to rub Becky's arm so sweet. We then sang to them we sang, Do your ears hang low. After we sang they then sang it to us. After that we sang it togather that was one of the best parts. After that each of the girls gave each of us women a purse that was hand maid. I'm so pud of my purse its such a nice treasure to have. The last thing we did when visiting this place was a clinic for women and children

Where the girls sleep

Becky and her new friend (in the white)

The girls

Then we went to lunch, after lunch we drove up to the mountain. It was quite a bumping ride. The mountain is quite breathtaking and can't even put into words. You can truely see what God created.

We were all seated there and this little girl came up and gave each of us a kiss. We were given a tour of the place, while on the tour we saw 2 little boys and they both shook our hands. We then went outside where most of the kids were. We were then greeted by the kids by a kiss. One of the little boys who shook our hand just stole my heart. Also there was a little girl who stole my heart, I helped her open the bubbles.

Emile

Girl I helped with the bubbles

 

Aug 18th 2012

After Haiti, once I git I wanted to tell everyone about the beautiful country and it's people. Now that I'm back I miss Haiti and I want to go back. One thing I'm trying to figure out is if I'm meant to be a sister or not. But the question I find asking myself how can I help them.

God only knows

 Maryknoll

I had the pleasure of last weekend spending Friday night at the Maryknoll house in Chicago :). I have been waiting for this day for months and it finally came. I was so excited I love this order more than words can describe. But I couldn't sleep the night before, well anyways we left around 1pm to head to Chicago and boy was the traffic terrible, but it was holiday weekend. Well we decided to get off the expressway because we weren't moving at all. We got there around 6pm and was happy to finally meet Sr. Janet :) I have been emailing her back and forth for almost a year.  The weekend was more than I could ask for. When we had arrived Friday night Sr. Janet, Traci and had to walk to go pick someone from the train station. When we got back to the house Sr. Janet made dinner, while Traci, Cecelia and I talk (Cecelia is Lay Missioner) While we ate we did alot of talking and then after dinner Traci and I did some exploring looking at pictures. My one favorite picture was one of the last supper but it had the 12 apostles, women and children. Well anyways later that night Traci and I got to talk to Sr. Janet and hear about some of her experiences. After talking for awhile we all decided it was time to go to bed. Well Traci and I decided to get up around 7:30am because Fr. Jim would be arriving about 9pm and we wanted to be showered and ready for the day when he came. When I met Fr. Jim I could see his love for Christ and his compassion for people. After breakfast Traci and I took a walk it was a cool day. When we got back it was time to start this amazing day. We started out with telling everyone about ourselves.... Then the day went on learning about Maryknoll as a whole, which means ou learning about so much stuff. It was alot to take in, I'm still trying to take it all in. But I really didn't want to leave I can see myself living there. Well then it was time to leave :( but i want to visit again :)

These are pictures from my stay in Chicago :)

Sometimes I wonder if this is the order for me, but I'm gonna continue to pray and trust in God he truely is the only one who knows


God Bless,

Joan 

What do I want in a Order

Well it's been awhile since I last blogged and some things have been brought up  by my SD and got me to thinking. The questions that came up.....What if this  isn't the order for you? What do you want in an order? Also what do I not want in an Order?

The question about what if this isn't the order for me? Well if Maryknoll isn't the order for, if it's not the order for me, I would look at different orders. But i truely believe that this is the order for, no other order makes my heart as happy as Maryknoll. But I'm still praying to God that he will direct me to the right order.

What I want in an order?

Mission Work

Dominican

Travel out of the States

Helping the poor

living with the poor

Belonging to an that is like a family

To learn Spanish or different Language 

Helping people

What I don't want in an Order?

To be bare foot all the time

Cloistered Order

Praying all day eveeryday

Wearing Black all the time

This list is on going because sometimes things do change. But one this I'm still unsure about if I want to wear a habit or not. But so far my discerning process is going great. I'm going on my first day of discernment March 26 so please pray for me :) but I can't wait :)

Happiness and Discerning the Call

I have been filled with lots of Happiness, since I meet with my spiritual director. We talked about everything from the order I want to go into to my faith journey.It was wonderful meeting with her and look forward to more spiritual directon with her :). Well anyways other thinns she wants me to do in keep a journal about what I'm thankful for and where I see GOD. Which I think is a WONDERFUL thing becaus we take many things for granted. It got me to thinking when I was driving home last night even thoughI hate winter. Snow is a BESYTIFUL thing and it's one GOD's creations.

Sometimes we have to be reminded on what GOD has given us even if it's the small things in LIFE. God has given us lots of wonderful things sometimes we forget what he has given us. Another thing that I love is watching hte sun set.