Things that I have been thinking about

I have been thinking alot about kids and my life would be like if I had them in my life. The older I get the more I want to be a mom. I love children so much.. But if  I want children I need a good man in my life, who will be there for the child.  But I also want to adopt someday, I have always wanted too. So mny children need loving homes. But first before I have kids I need a boyfriend and then a husband. I want a man who is Catholic, so we can raise in the faith I was.

All in HIS time

When I first returned from my trip from Haiti, I didn't feel like I was being called to become a sister. I think going o Haiti I expected to know if I was called. But I took in alot in the 5 days I was there and processed it all Alot of it when I got home. I loved every part of Haiti and didn't want to leave it was bittersweet. When I got home I was a bit confused and was asking myself am I called to become a sister or just a missionary. I did alot of praying and talking to God asking him where I was being called.

Now after much time of praying and asking God where he wants me. All this time I was still so in love with Maryknoll. Even though I wasn't sure if I was called to Maryknoll, I was feeling that I was being called to Maryknoll, but didn't know how I would go about asking to take the next step. Well a week after trying to figure this out I got a email from Sr. Janet if I'm ready to discern with them. I didn't even have to think about it. I said YES. Well Sr. Janet was going to be in Chicago, well I couldn't make it to Chicago so she came to Milwaukee. We were able to have lunch and to talk, she asked when I see myself entering I said August if my bills get paid in time.

Where am I called

After I returned from Haiti, I wasn't sure If God was calling me to become a Sister or a Missionary. I needed time to let everything process. After a week being home I'm almost positive I'm called to be a missionary sister. Well I met with my SD 2 days after I had been home after I wasn't sure at all where God wanted me, she said to make a list of the Pro's and Con's of both.


NUN 

Pro's
Community
life-time vows
being called sister
learning a new language
helping people
meeting new people
learning about different cultures
living a simple life

Con's
Away from family & friends
dealing with possible disease

Missionary

Pro's
helping people
learning a new language
learning new cultures

Con's
being away from home

  

Haiti: Where I left part of my Heart

Aug. 9th 2012

   Today I left for Haiti, a place I wanted to go for years. The night before I left went to bed at 9am because i was gonna get up at 4am, so I could shower, eat breakfast and make sure I had everything. Dad drove me to the airport and mom came with and Sara got up to say goodbye. When I arrived at the airport Ralph was already there and then the others started to come.We had three different flights that we needed to take.
    We finally arrived in Haiti and it was kinda crazy to say the least. We went through customs, which wasn't too bad except a lady skipped in front of a bunch of us. Then we had to get our luggage which was fun because there was so many people. The most crazy part was leaving after you had your luggage. There is tons of men wanting to help with your luggage and they want to help you so much. When we got to our van the luggage went in and then we all squeezed in. My first drive in Haiti is nothing like you will experience in the states. They drive fast and alot of honking horns. You really have to hold on when in a car. I noticed alot my first drive in Haiti you seeing people trying to see stuff and lots of people walking. For those people walking they have to move out of the way when a car is coming. On a drive to the mission house, we had stopped for a minute and this little boy had jumped on the back of the van asking for money. The we started to drive again and it wasn't slow either it was fast. I would saw that he scared all of us and then all of a sudden he jumped off in middle of traffic. I was scared for his life, thank God the car behind us could stop. When we got to the mission house we took everything upstairs and choose our beds. We later went downstairs and met all the staff. At the mission they had a porch with a beautiful view and some beautiful flowers. At dinner I didn't feel to hungry, but i guess i was because i ate the very good eggplant casserole.

Aug 10th 2012

Today is our first full day in Haiti and its pretty exciting. But it was also a very diffacult day and parts we very overwhelming. First we went to a clinic and was given a tour. They treat women at the clinic, after that we went for a walk. It wasn't any normal walk the we took, we took a walk in the poorest neighborhood. We walked down this big hill and it was a dirt road and very rocky. Which wasn't alot of work down, but up it was alot more work. But in all in all it wasn't that bad i walked it one day. The people of Haiti walk it everyday many times a day. We then walked down a hill to see the way the poorest people live. It was very hard to see, they live in houses that are so small and that have doors. It was heart- breaking to see but farther down you could see children having fun playing and laughing.

  Then we went on to visit Madam Sum Sum this lady is amazing and I feel in love with her. She feeds the kids in her neighborhood for many of these kids this will be the only meal they will get. These kids were so sweet before they ate and were waiting for the food to be made, they sang to us. Then we sang to them, we weren't as good though. I can't even describe into words how beautiful the singing is. When the food was ready we were able to help hand it out. I loved that part of it almost like we were helping just alittle bit. The children are the fces i will never forget. Considering these kids live in poverity you would never have guessed it. The kids are pretty happy they were laughing alot, which just made me so happy. We then said goodbye to the children and then kissed Madam Sum Sum goodbye.

 

 

Madam Sum Sum Children

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  We then headed back to the mission house. When we got back to the mission house, we had a speaker and her name was Mary. She talked about how they help people and how they can get loans. Also alot of people is Haiti don't know how to read or write. After she left we went to sit on the porch. It was so BEAUTIFUL out and there was a nice breeze.

Aug 11th 2012

Today was shopping day :) we went to this Co- Op, most of us did shopping for family, friends and sponsors. This place has some of those most beautiful things. We then visited a metal shop the things there were so nice. I didn't buy anything from there.

We did some driving and saw some sad things, that I can't even imagine and is hard to put into words. I saw people living in tents, it broke my heart t see people living like that. We also saw a Cathedeal and a Palace that were totally destroyed from the earthquake.

Aug 12, 2012

I was pretty excited when I found we were going to experience going to mass in Haiti. We had to get up early and by early I mean 4:30am, because mass started early. When we got into church, my first impression was how beautiful. They prayed the rosary before mass, which sounded so beautiful. When mass started the choir came in singing so beautiful. Its hard to describe into words, but its almost like what you would hear in  heaven. Then later on during mass 4 little girls started to dance. Its was so beautiful and I began to cry. The choir sang so beautiful that I wanted to take them home with me.

Later that night we went out for dinner, they  had a beautiful shandalar that had silverware hanging from it. We were treated to a nice treat, while in the restaurant a man was playing the saxaphone and he came to each table.

Aug 13th 2012

Just like every morning we got up early and ate breakfast. We had some free time before we had to leave, so we all went on the porch it was the coolest part of the house. Then it was time to go and I was very excited, I love children. They are the most honest and the most loving. I love children they are such gifts from God. We first visited Paula's girls, hen we first got there we sat down and they talked about the girls. We then got to see where these precious girls slept. I feel in love with these little girls. Becky had a girl grab her by the had and they sat togather, the girls started becky started to cry. The little started to rub Becky's arm so sweet. We then sang to them we sang, Do your ears hang low. After we sang they then sang it to us. After that we sang it togather that was one of the best parts. After that each of the girls gave each of us women a purse that was hand maid. I'm so pud of my purse its such a nice treasure to have. The last thing we did when visiting this place was a clinic for women and children

Where the girls sleep

Becky and her new friend (in the white)

The girls

Then we went to lunch, after lunch we drove up to the mountain. It was quite a bumping ride. The mountain is quite breathtaking and can't even put into words. You can truely see what God created.

We were all seated there and this little girl came up and gave each of us a kiss. We were given a tour of the place, while on the tour we saw 2 little boys and they both shook our hands. We then went outside where most of the kids were. We were then greeted by the kids by a kiss. One of the little boys who shook our hand just stole my heart. Also there was a little girl who stole my heart, I helped her open the bubbles.

Emile

Girl I helped with the bubbles

 

Aug 18th 2012

After Haiti, once I git I wanted to tell everyone about the beautiful country and it's people. Now that I'm back I miss Haiti and I want to go back. One thing I'm trying to figure out is if I'm meant to be a sister or not. But the question I find asking myself how can I help them.

God only knows

 Maryknoll

I had the pleasure of last weekend spending Friday night at the Maryknoll house in Chicago :). I have been waiting for this day for months and it finally came. I was so excited I love this order more than words can describe. But I couldn't sleep the night before, well anyways we left around 1pm to head to Chicago and boy was the traffic terrible, but it was holiday weekend. Well we decided to get off the expressway because we weren't moving at all. We got there around 6pm and was happy to finally meet Sr. Janet :) I have been emailing her back and forth for almost a year.  The weekend was more than I could ask for. When we had arrived Friday night Sr. Janet, Traci and had to walk to go pick someone from the train station. When we got back to the house Sr. Janet made dinner, while Traci, Cecelia and I talk (Cecelia is Lay Missioner) While we ate we did alot of talking and then after dinner Traci and I did some exploring looking at pictures. My one favorite picture was one of the last supper but it had the 12 apostles, women and children. Well anyways later that night Traci and I got to talk to Sr. Janet and hear about some of her experiences. After talking for awhile we all decided it was time to go to bed. Well Traci and I decided to get up around 7:30am because Fr. Jim would be arriving about 9pm and we wanted to be showered and ready for the day when he came. When I met Fr. Jim I could see his love for Christ and his compassion for people. After breakfast Traci and I took a walk it was a cool day. When we got back it was time to start this amazing day. We started out with telling everyone about ourselves.... Then the day went on learning about Maryknoll as a whole, which means ou learning about so much stuff. It was alot to take in, I'm still trying to take it all in. But I really didn't want to leave I can see myself living there. Well then it was time to leave :( but i want to visit again :)

These are pictures from my stay in Chicago :)

Sometimes I wonder if this is the order for me, but I'm gonna continue to pray and trust in God he truely is the only one who knows


God Bless,

Joan 

What do I want in a Order

Well it's been awhile since I last blogged and some things have been brought up  by my SD and got me to thinking. The questions that came up.....What if this  isn't the order for you? What do you want in an order? Also what do I not want in an Order?

The question about what if this isn't the order for me? Well if Maryknoll isn't the order for, if it's not the order for me, I would look at different orders. But i truely believe that this is the order for, no other order makes my heart as happy as Maryknoll. But I'm still praying to God that he will direct me to the right order.

What I want in an order?

Mission Work

Dominican

Travel out of the States

Helping the poor

living with the poor

Belonging to an that is like a family

To learn Spanish or different Language 

Helping people

What I don't want in an Order?

To be bare foot all the time

Cloistered Order

Praying all day eveeryday

Wearing Black all the time

This list is on going because sometimes things do change. But one this I'm still unsure about if I want to wear a habit or not. But so far my discerning process is going great. I'm going on my first day of discernment March 26 so please pray for me :) but I can't wait :)

Happiness and Discerning the Call

I have been filled with lots of Happiness, since I meet with my spiritual director. We talked about everything from the order I want to go into to my faith journey.It was wonderful meeting with her and look forward to more spiritual directon with her :). Well anyways other thinns she wants me to do in keep a journal about what I'm thankful for and where I see GOD. Which I think is a WONDERFUL thing becaus we take many things for granted. It got me to thinking when I was driving home last night even thoughI hate winter. Snow is a BESYTIFUL thing and it's one GOD's creations.

Sometimes we have to be reminded on what GOD has given us even if it's the small things in LIFE. God has given us lots of wonderful things sometimes we forget what he has given us. Another thing that I love is watching hte sun set.

In God's Time

I haven't blogged in a while so I decided ti start again. Alot of things have been going on all good.

Discerning 
After much time of prayer and reflecting if God is calling me to become a nun. I'm starting to move forward with this,  I finally found a spiritual Director :). Just have to find a tie to meet with her. Everything is going according to his plan. I also will be going to Chicago in May for Maryknoll Days which will be a GREAT thing and I can't wait. I will get to meet Sister Janet and other sisters from the order. I'm also emailing with another sister from the order. She is also from Wisconsin :)

The Kids 
I have been helping teach classes at my church, with 2 other ladies. The kids are such a JOY to be around. They are in 3rd and 4th grade, the funny thing is I'm learning stuff too when I'm in the classroom. I look forward to the Sundays that we have GIFT. One of the kids made me laugh so hard twice on Sunday. His name is Liam, but anyways he forgot his folder I said again he says yes I lost it. I asked do you have any pets and he says yes I think my dog ate he is fat. The other thing was he was pretending to be running really slow, it was so funny this was when we were playing a game. The thing about younger kids is that they want to learn stuff and they enjoy it. 

Well as I end this blog please keep me in your prayers as I discern where God wants me :)

 

It is not hard to obey when we love the one whom we obey.
Saint Ignatius

Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/s/saint_ignatius.html#ixzz1l3uKgG3p

 

To be a nun or not, Saint Therese of Lisieux and Prayer

To be a nun or not

I know some people may think I maybe crazy, because of the life I feel like I'm willing to live. I feel that God has a plan for each of us and sometimes it's not the life that we dreamed of living. But sometimes he has better things in store for you. I feel in my heart that Jesus has chosen me to be his bride. Even though sometimes I question him asking him why? But when I pray I get comfort. Jesus is telling me to be patience and not to be afraid. I have learned alot so far and I even have an order picked out. I have learned alot about it and read alot :). I love how it seems like they are a family.

Saint Therese of Lisieux

I  learned about St. Theresa from a young age and I always found her to be interesting. I loved reading about her. Well now as an adult I find her to be even more interesting and she had lots of courage. The one amazing things is that all of the girls in the family had became sisters. They also lived an amazing life.....

Praying

Praying has been a big part of life, but i spend alot of time praying most recently. Prayer can be an amazing thing and often times it gives people comfort. In my time in prayer I spend it asking Jesus if this what he wants from me.I alsi pray for my friends one for sure is Mary and my bestie Megan that everything is ok with her health. My family also, my brother for sure but I'm putting this in God's hands.

JOY

This has been an amazing journey so far, the support from people has been more than I can put into words. It gives me a SMILE on my face and tears in my eyes to know that so many are praying fo me. I have been going to mass everyday and when I don't go it's like something is missing which seems kinda weird, it makes my day better. Well anyways I'm pretty sure that God is calling me to become a nun... I know most of my friends think it's crazy, but you have to understand it to understand me and why. Well anyways my heart is filled joy when I think about what is still to come and I know GOD has bigger plans for me and I can't wait. But I had the best phone conversation with an order Friday. I got a phone from a Maryknoll sister, we talked about alot of things and learned alot abot the order. But I think before I do anything else I want to do some mission work outside the US, before I enter any community.

mass

When to morning with my Mom and enjoyed it.

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Joy in my HEART

All I can say is God is GREAT, I feel like I'm getting closer to where I should be :). I believe I meant to be something better than working at Wal-mart. I want to work with the poor, I want to serve the poorest people feed the poor. These are people just like the rest of us, even though they don't have money like us. When I think about leaving everything belind even my family and my closest dearest friends I smile because I know no matter where I'm at they will be with me in my heart. But I know this what I'm meant to do and what is in God's will. I still can't believe the support I'm getting from people it amazes me and brings me such JOY. There are 2 friends that melted my heart with their support my friends Zach and Mandy are more supportive than any of my friend. I LOVE YOU GUYS! Well anyways the other person I have know a long time and he even asked me questions about what kind of a nun I want to be because they say talking about it is a great thing.

I feel very drain to the Maryknoll community today I finished filling out my application, it's pretty exciting, wait thats a lie it's very exciting :) I love reading about the founder so here's alittle about her :)

Biographical Note

Mollie Rogers,a middle-class young woman from Boston, was one of the handful of Catholics at Smith College in the spring of 1904. A group of Protestant young women being sent off to foreign missions left a lasting impression on her. When she returned to Smith in 1906 as an instructor, she organized a small Catholic mission club. Seeking advice for organizing the mission club, she went to see Father James A. Walsh in Boston. His warm reception led her to begin volunteer work on his new mission magazine, The Field Afar. In 1910, Father Walsh and Father Thomas Frederick Price laid the foundation for the Catholic Foreign Mission Society of America. Mollie directed the womens' contingent of the group, and founded the congregation that ultimately became the Foreign Mission Sisters of St. Dominic, or the Maryknoll Sisters.

Decerning the call and support

Well it's past midnight and I just got done watching a movie and I can't sleep right now. Well anyways right now I'm decerning if God is calling me to become a sister and I'm pretty sure thats what I'm called to be. I know I'm not meant to be married I have known that for awhile. To be honest more than 10 years but its so exciting and I smile thinking about this. The more I go through this process, the more I feel like being called. I have 3 orders for sure that I am thinking about Missinary Sisters of the Holy Rosary, Maryknoll and Holy Spirit Missionary Sisters. I know I want to serve the poor, but the question is where God wants me/

Support is amazing in my parish, I can't tell you I am very overwelmed. I'm surprised that people are so happy :) Then tonight I wanted to tell my friend Zach and I'm happy to say that he was very supportive in all of this. I love him :)

Answering the call

I have always had a strong faith in God, sometimes it was tested. But I always knew he would be there for me and prayer was on of the key part of everything. Growing up I would pray alot of the time and I would also pray to Saints, but by fair my favorite saint is Saint Teresa the Little Flower. For some reason I feel like we have a bond they may be stupid because she has been long gone.

Well anyways I don't think anyone reads this, but several years ago when I went to worldyouth day I felt like God was calling me to become a nun and now I'm talking to a few places getting to know them it feels my heart with JOY it's kinda exciting :)...... Last time I got scared, but I feel like GOD is telling me not to be afaraid so I'm gonna keep going on with this. Keep me in your prayers

It's in His hands

I have been thinking alot about what is in God's plan for me and I have been doing alot of praying about what God wants from me. Years ago after one of the World Youth Day's I cam home and thought that my calling was to become a nun. But then I got scared and decided to put it on the backburner. Well now I still feel like he is calling me to do something, maybe it's not to become a nun. But often times we don't want to listen to God. Because it's not what we want, right now I'm praying for God to lead me in the right direction. I think I really need to go on a mission trip to serve people so I know if this is what I should do. Right now I'm gonna leave it in his hands

Being a Saint, Music makes me Happy and dressing modest

Saints, what makes them so different from the rest of us?

I have recenly just started reading about saints, before I only payed attention to certain saint that most people have heard of. For example Saint Teresa the little flower, I have read alot about her and have always found her to be interesting. But then there is Saint Maria Goretti, who to me is an Amazing person. She was raped and stabbed, this young man left her to die. But on her death bed, she forgave him. I'm a relegous person, but I don't know if I could have done the same thing. Or atleast that quick, because it's not easy to forgive who did something terrible to you.

Some people think that saints are perfect, but I don't think are. Knowone is always perfect, I believe the things the do in their lives. Well for me I like to learn about saint and what made them a saint. If anyone knows of an interesting saint please let me know.

I love music for so many different reasons,it makes me feel so much better. Most recent I have been listen to christian music. I can't believe how much it makes me smile and feel so Wonderful. It hard to describe but it's like God is talking to me through this music Wonderful feeling. :)

Maybe it's me, but it seems hard to find modest tops. Everything seems to want to show everything. But I don't, if anyone could help it would be great. :)

Dating and fulfillment in Life

Why should we date?


I wonder that alot sometimes, because of the fact I never have the best luck with men.It has me thinking about many things. If I do find someone, it has to be forever. I will not marry someone, who doesn't have faith in the same God as I do.But I have been wondering alot about what my call in life is.Does God want me to be married. And to teacher my children to be good catholics. Or should I do something else. I just need God to guide me in the right direction. I have been praying for God to guide me where to go and what to do.


What will fulfill me?


I wonder can I live a life being single?  That is one thing I struggle with to this day. Ever since I was a very little girl I dreamed of becoming a wife and being a mom.I still want to have it. But sometimes things change, thats how I feel now.I want more to my life than to what it is like now. I want to help people who aren't like me. I have always been drawn to helping people.

New things to come, faith and prayer

 In todays blog I will be talking about many different things, about how I am feeling right now.

New things to come and what they are?

I recently decided it would be a good idea to go back to school and I'm so happy I did.I'm very excited about going back. I'm going to school for Medical Assistant and I think it's something that I would be very good at :). Atleast I hope it is because I have always struggled with new things. This something I want to be good at.

 

Faith what is it?

Faith for me is so many diifferent things, it depends on how I'm feeling at that moment in time. My faith has changed alot over the years. In high school I was very involved in church I was involved in everything I could. At school I was known as the girl who went to church. Which didn't bother me at all.I was sad when high school was over at church because I felt like where do I go now. But I did continue to go to church every sunday. But one summer, I went away for the whole summer, in Colorado the beautiful Rockies. I loved it there, but part of me changed. Not really for the better I went form not drinking at all to getting drunk everynight. But for me I thought it was lots of fun. But really it wasn't that fun. Well enough about that, well now I am back to going to church. It makes me feel alot better, if I am going through something it helps. This may sound weird but, being at church is like home to me.

Why to pray and what it does?

I pray for many different reasons. I pray to thank God for all the wonderful things he has given me. I pray for God to help me through my hard times I am going through.

Whats my call in life

What is my call in life?

I have been asking this question a lot. Is my call to work at Walmart, even though I don't think it is. Even though I plan to go to school soon for Medical Assisting. But sometimes I feel called to do something else. But I often finding myself praying and asking God to help and guide me.


I recently met a young man on a site, but I wonder if married life is what I should do in my life. Or should I do something else?


I know the Lord has big plans for me , but I need to pray and figure out what they are.But I think first I'm gonna do school and then I want to do some mission work for sure.I somehow feel called to do this type of work.


A clean heart is a free heart. A free heart can love Christ with an undivided love in chastity, convinced that nothing aA clean heart is a free heart. A free heart can love Christ with an undivided love in chastity, convinced that nothing and nobody will separate it from his love. Purity, chastity, and virginity created a special beauty in Mary that attracted God’s attention. He showed his great love for the world by giving Jesus to hernd nobody will separate it ftracted God’s attention. He showed his great love for the world by giving Jesus to her

Still Wondering

My faith has always been a big part of my life, it is who I am. For awhile I did fall away from my faith. But now I'm back and going to church it feels GREAT. But I'm always wondering what God wants from me. Am I meant to get married or is single life the way he wants me to live. But I have to believe that what ever life he wants me to live that it's for the best for me and that it's what he has planned for me.

The hardest struggle for me is that will I be ok being single?

Well some days I am fine with living that life because, if it's in his plan. But if it's not then what will I do. Will I meet someone, it's kinda hard to think about.